A Wish For Empathy

This is not a time to quit,
The queen has crushed all my pawns,
Let it be known though,
Her compassion is limitless,
Her knowledge unfathomable,
I long for the queen to acknowledge me,
I,
The court jester speak,
With a heart heaving down,
Knowing of status and boundaries,
She who experiences regret every so night,
On a schedule only her memory can read,
Begging for forgiveness,
Wondering when her repentance will be answered,
Or how it will,
Or if it will,
I,
The court jester only know of these words,
She once spoke to me unknowingly,
Her mind's adversity too arcane,
And now my humour is all too mundane,
For I am filled with a sadness,
Or an anger?
Or a wish?
I wish to pacify,
To pacify my queen would be to pacify her subject,
This ethereal bond,
This bond leaves me estranged,
Why does she not let go?
Why can she not let go?
I am too myopic to understand,
Too nai've,
My bright reds, yellows and blues are but black,
I wish to be part of her darkness,
To understand,
To feel that scimitar slash through me once,
The way it slashes her every night,
I,
The court jester wish to resign,
But my sleepless nights are but upheld,
By the sound of weeping so distant,
In the far east wing she cries,
This joker and his queen are forever,
Dear God when will you reply,
Let her virus be mine,
My queen,
Sleep,
Dear God let her sleep...