Apathy

Not sure what I feel right now really,
So confused about love and happiness,
I can't help but make a story out of every bittersweet reality,
Out of every fact,
I lie too often,
I run away even more so to this shell,
Within this shell I find isolation,
But light shines through the pores,
Through the cracks,
Every now,
Every then,
I even wonder why we're poles apart,
Even though we adhere like water on glass,
Words fail me right now,
I have volumes to say,
But I'm too overwhelmed to speak,
To utter words that could change lives,
Shatter culture,
That could shatter me,
Every now and then,
And every now and then,
I wonder about what could be,
What will be,
What should be,
This life is an ambient and personal road,
Made of soft laughs and of softer tears,
Made of hard gains and of harder losses,
These lessons of love,
Affection and 'self-sacrifice' I'll never learn,
Apathy overwhelms me now,
As I set myself apart,
You never do return to mind,
Though you always return to this piteous heart,
This conflict is mine alone,
Mine alone to adjourn,
When the mind and heart divinely fuse,
This conflict will never return...